The Hermitage
April 18, 2019
As I did my prayer time and meditations (you’ll see why the plural in a moment) I decided I would just do a stream of consciousness (or un- as the case might be) this morning.
I used to marvel at Andrea. She could sit quietly and work through a meditation until she had wrung every drop of nectar from it. I, on the other hand…
Well, my meditations remind me of an old dog, just snuffling along through the pasture, sampling the tantalizing scents that hint of the previous night’s events. Suddenly, without real intent, he encounters a fluffle of rabbits who scatter to the four winds.
Surprised, and somewhat flustered, he would love to give chase, but...which rabbit trail?
And even as he succumbs to the pursuit, deep inside he knows it’s going to be a long chase. And sometimes he wonders why he even bothers...except it’s his nature to chase rabbits he’ll never catch.
Or perhaps on other days, Alice never learns and is enticed to follow another top-hatted rabbit down a hole that leads to some pretty weird experiences.
Did you know? If you use loose leaf tea you can brew several cups from the same teaspoon of tea? And, in a mystery only God could create, the flavor doesn’t wane but becomes more full bodied with each cup.
All of the above are the ways my meditations usually go.
Perhaps my childhood ADHD has returned, or perhaps it never left. Andrea used to laugh at me because, even sitting in my recliner lost deep in thought, my foot was always moving, keeping time to some unknown rhythm.
I guess today’s meditation is about how I meditate. So...welcome to my weird and wonderful inner world. Journey awhile with me down the road to the threshold of my holy space.
I woke up this morning to an experience I’ve had all my life. The world outside my window, and inside my head, seemed unreal.
It’s as though I’m suddenly an observer, sitting alone with a front row seat in the Theatre watching the proscenium, waiting for the set to be built so the actors can play out the next drama.
If a psychiatrist is reading this, I’ll probably get a phone call suggesting I might like to make an appointment. But it’s not a psychotic break. Or an “out of body” experience. It’s more like an “in-the-spirit” experience.
These events never last long, and I’m always left with the feeling there’s something important just out of my grasp.
Those are the days my mediations are often the most fruitful--and most scattered.
Do you have one of those clickers in your head that gate attendants use to count people as they pass by. Occasionally I do. And this morning the Attendant counted seven Guests who crossed the threshold of my holy space...all of whom invited me to explore their lives in more depth.
Who are they?
It’s hard to articulate, but...they are future mediations I’m supposed to write some day. As I briefly sat with each guest, drinking a cup of tea together, I was assured that--when the time was right and I had heard each story with the necessary depth of understanding--we would sit down at the computer together, and I would get to introduce you to a “new/old” friend.
Reflection
I’m not sure why...it just seemed important to share this with you. I’m trying to “preach what I practice” and, no matter how weird or strange, if I believe it’s the Holy Spirit, I’m trying follow the leading.
How do I know I’m hearing correctly? I don’t.
Just like Peter, I won’t know until I sit with Cornelius. Is it my “self?”--or is it Him?--
Him...challenging me follow Him
...to journey along the path He prepared for me before I ever saw the light of day
...yonderin’ down a path I only dimly perceive
...living out life in the small, small way that is uniquely mine.
How do I know? I don’t.
I just trust. And years of experience have taught me there’s no mess I can create that He can’t fix. I just have to be brave enough to try again.
Till then…
Thanks for journeying with me.
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Acts 10
Yes, a “fluffle of rabbits” Look it up.